“My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death." -Jesus
The garden scene near the end of Jesus’ life has become one of my favorite passages of scripture. I'm reminded of it often while acknowledging my frustration with this world and identifying with the frustrations of others. In this Gethsemane moment, Jesus' soul was crushed with grief to the point of death. He asked the Father for another way to save humanity, a plan that didn't necessitate the cross. The answer to Jesus' prayer was no. Jesus shares both disappointment with this reality and a desire to experience something more than his current circumstances. I, too, am connected to this groaning for more during these days of uncertainty, dissension, loss, and concern. What we're experiencing amid the novel coronavirus is a reminder that, because of the presence of sin in the world, something is wrong with everything.
Thankfully, something more than suffering was waiting on the other side of the cross for Jesus, a joy that motivated his obedience to a cup he had hoped would pass. “For the joy set before him, he endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). This experience of pain now, fullness later, was something Jesus taught his disciples to expect, “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). As believers, we are never without hope. Jesus has overcome the world, so we have too. But, we remain in the world, a fallen world which brings restlessness, disappointment, and pain.
We are created for an experience of life that fallenness prevents in fullness right now. The more we connect with this reality, the more disappointment and frustration we will sense, resulting from deep longings for restoration which cannot be satisfied this side of heaven. If what the world is experiencing right now isn't an example of "all creation groaning," I'm not sure what is. But, there's something more waiting for us on the other side of this affliction- there always is. Our frustrations, stress, and anxiety surrounding this crisis is an invitation for us to awaken to our future hope and deepest desires.
More than relief and solutions, we desire stirred affection for Jesus and an increased appetite for him. Don't get me wrong- relief and solutions are great, and those are good, honoring desires. I hope they come soon. But, when we quiet the noise and connect with the deepest desires of our innermost being, temporal relief and solutions aren't enough. We crave more. I believe these challenging times invite us to press deeper into our longings, into the eternal and unseen desires resident in our hearts. If you have a moment today, spend some time connecting with your deepest desires. Eternity has been set in your heart. Do you feel it? What response wells inside you as you connect with what you most deeply long for today?
